Hi Dost’s

Welcome to my 14th blog. In my last blog (unlucky number 13) I promised you a lucky day if you read that particular blog, I hope you did, I truly do, but I feel all my good luck I gave to you was sucked away from me like a sandcastle sitting on top of a windy mount Fiji! Basically I have had a dreadful week, with nothing but bad news, followed by more bad news and an ample sprinkle of even more bad news and a cherry on top that was grown on a cherry tree (or bush?!) that was planted on the grave of the unluckiest man who ever lived.

It all started so well, I had a great weekend up my parent’s house, to celebrate my mum’s birthday. Happy Birthday if you are reading this mum! I had a really cool and chilled weekend, drank a bit of wine, ate some nice food and had a jolly good time around Worcester. My mood was also helped after Arsenal beat Spurs 3-0, oh yes I thought gleefully, nothing could go wrong! It did and fast!

Me, Becca and the kid’s South African snail passed away, his name was Brian and he was truly a great snail! Rest in Peace my shell-backed friend. After picking up my motor from the garage (after they fixed a minor problem (still cost a few bob mind)) I was told the head gasket would also need replacing, and that job don’t come cheap, I could still potentially use my car to drive, however I would have to put up with a lot of steam on my windscreen and the annoyance of filling up the water tank every 3 miles and the gamble that the engine could bail on me any second! Euan’s buggy also decided to break just to add to the torment! There are also many other incidents I could write down on my blog, but I don’t think it is really necessary to delve too deep into these things, basically it has been a pants week, and hope that writing this blog will stop my torture!

If anyone has put some weird voodoo spell on me or my family, to teach me some lesson, I put my hands up, you have beaten me, now please reverse the spell, I don’t need anymore bad luck thank you!

To vent my anger who should I pick on, who deserves the wrath of my tongue, who out there deserved to be taught a lesson, to be picked upon and to wind up, who out there did I need to let rip and allow my emotions to run wild! I came to the conclusion that a hotel in Dover should be the unfortunate recipient of my anger!

Why a hotel? Why Dover? Did I hate the white cliffs? What would make me lose my rag to a hotel I had never even been to in my life? All these are valid questions, well please allow me to rewind the clocks slightly and give you a little introduction. (Oh and if you are wondering, no I don’t hate the white cliffs of Dover, in fact I have been inside them, and had a really cool tour once inside Winston Churchill’s secret headquarters!)

A few days ago I googled my surname – Wallett. Wallett is a rare name, I was told by a good source (my grandma) that there was only around 50 Wallett’s in the UK, I even managed to do a search and found out I am the only Adrian Wallett in the UK, pretty cool I am sure you would agree! Anyway, after I did my Google search I noticed something rather cool and interesting, the first listing showed a hotel, and its name was Wallett’s Court. You can visit the website here: http://www.wallettscourt.com. I was so happy, I loved the idea that a hotel shared my unusual surname, it made me tingle inside. I decided to email them and try to find out more about the hotels history and how it got its name, I sent the following email to Wallett’s Court:

“Dear Wallett's Court
After Googling my surname (Wallett) I was flabbergasted to find out you hotel shares my surname! And I don't use the word flabbergasted very often, it usually takes quite a lot to fluster my feathers!
After scanning through your websites pages I have to admit the hotel looks lovely, and is a good role model for the name Wallett - I salute you fine people!
In case you weren't aware, Wallett is a very rare name – there are only around 50 Wallett's in the whole of the UK. How did your hotel get the name Wallett? Was it named after anyone, you never know it could very well be one of my long lost relatives! Any history information on the hotel would be so much appreciated!
If I am ever in the Dover area I will do my best to pop down, say hi, have an ale and maybe even stay a night or two - I wont be asking for any extra favours, although a history lesson and tour of the premises wouldn't be turned down .
Incidentally I am an artist, so if Wallett's Court would like to display some Adrian Wallett original oil paintings – then let me know. If you would like some samples of my artwork, please reply and I will be honoured to email you some through. My Dad (Bernard Wallett) is a photographer, so if you would like to go down that route instead of my art I am 100% sure he would be interested in displaying his photo's at your fine hotel.
Kindest Regards
Adrian Wallett
Email: agwallett@googlemail.com”
There, I was proud of myself, my email was witty, good natured, a tad cheeky and a whiff of quirkiness thrown in. I was confident I would get a quick and nice reply. I was instantly sent an automated email, indicating they received my enquiry, as shown below:

“Dear Adrian Wallett,

Thank you very much for your enquiry. Your details have been noted and we
will contact you within 24 hours with a response.

If you have any questions or require further assistance, please do not
hesitate to contact us at info@wallettscourt.com

Or call the hotel direct on +44 (0)1304 852424 from 0700 to 2300 hrs GMT.

Yours sincerely,

Wallett's Court Country House Hotel, Restaurant & Spa
Westcliffe
Dover
Kent
United Kingdom
CT15 6EW
Telephone: (44) 01304 852424
Fax: (44) 01304 853430
Visit our website at http://www.wallettscourt.com”

I now had to play the waiting game, although I wouldn’t surely have to wait too long, as they did clearly state that they would reply within 24 hours. Between the time I sent this email and 24 hours later I had received a lot of bad news (much of it displayed above), my mood was getting worse and worse by the second, I was in such a bad mood, even little things like having no milk for my coffee at work made my blood boil, oh yes, I can promise you one thing, I gave the incredible Hulk a run for his money rivalling his anger. After scanning my inbox for any emails I remembered what Wallett’s Court had promised me – “we
will contact you within 24 hours with a response.”. Hmmm my email had been sent 24 hours ago and yet still no reply. I was angry, I was mad, I was borderline crazy, I decided to send another email to Wallett’s court, to give them a piece of my tongue and to help vent my anger, I sent the following email:

“Dear Wallett's Court

I emailed you 24 hours ago and on your automated reply you posted the following promise: "Your details have been noted and we will contact you within 24 hours with a response." I am still waiting for this response!

You clearly stated you WILL contact me within 24 hours. I wouldn't have minded if you said "we would try" or "we will do our best to", but you stated you would, and as you haven't emailed me back with a personal reply, I am calling you liars! I thought us Wallett's had to stick together - I guess I have been proven wrong! Thanks a bunch!

I am in a bad, grouchy, grumpy and foul mood because my car is broken and I have been forced to take public transport into work - a bus, tram then another bus, a journey that can quite easily put you in a foul mood for the rest of your day, and as you can probably guess I am in that mood and venting my anger where I see fit!

I sent you a nice email yesterday, a bit random yes I agree, but still nice, yet I get no reply - you should be ashamed of yourselves for not replying as you promised to do! I say if you can’t keep your promises don't make them!

Please reply to me as you should have done and I might consider forgiving you!

Regards

Adrian WALLETT

ps. I know this is a busy time for all businesses around Xmas (apart from maybe ice cream sellers) but I still feel that isn't a good enough excuse for not replying!”

Did Wallett’s Court really deserve this email? No, of course they didn’t, Did they deserve the word WILL both bolded and made huge? No way! Did it make me feel better? Yes it did. Did I ever expect to hear from the hotel again? Of course not, although I was half expecting a court junction, stating I wasn’t allowed in a 1 mile radius of the building. The next day I opened my inbox and very unexpectedly I did get an email from Wallett’s Court as shown below:

“Dear Mr Wallett

You sound more than a little stressed...

Before you read the rest of this email please do the following:

Find a quiet place free from draughts and bright light.

Loosen your clothing and lie or sit down in a comfortable position.

1. Place your hands on either side of your ribcage and close your eyes. Softly inhale through your nose, visualising the air passing through the nostrils and throat and into your lungs. Allow your ribcage to expand by moving your palms outwards.

2. Breathe out through your nose or mouth, gently compressing the sides of your ribcage with your hands to ensure full exhalation.

3. Continue this diaphragmatic breathing for about five minutes. Then lower the palms to your sides or place them in your lap, and begin visualisation while continuing deep, relaxed breathing.

4. Visualise a beautiful place where you feel really relaxed. It may be a garden, beach, mountain or a particular beauty spot. Picture it vividly with all your senses.

5. Picture yourself enjoying this special place and feeling relaxed and happy. Mentally repeat phrases that confirm this, such as "I feel very relaxed" and "I'm content and at peace." Stay in this place as long as you like.

6. When you’re ready, picture yourself leaving and returning to your current environment. Stretch your limbs and slowly open your eyes. Drink a glass of water.


Done all this?

Now read on...

I hadn't realised that your email came directly from our enquiry/reservations page on our website and ordinarily if your email was of a standard nature then my reservations team would have responded promptly.

I did read your email and was interested by your comments. The reason why I hadn't replied as yet was because I have spent the last couple of days researching the history of the name 'Wallett' at Wallett's Court for you and was going to send this information on and perhaps invite you down and possibly display your artwork.

If you'd like me to action this please advise accordingly.

By the way, please don't always assume everyone in the world is out to upset you, take a deep breath, think nice thoughts, do kind things, be a friend and you never know good things might start to happen...

Gavin Oakley

Owner/Part-time Life Coach

Call our friendly reservations team on +44 0800 0351628
Wallett's Court Country House Hotel, Restaurant and Spa
Westcliffe, St. Margaret's-at-Cliffe, Dover, Kent. CT15 6EW

Relaxation Tip...
If you're feeling a little stressed why not turn the lights down low,
light an incense stick, put some 'far out' whale song music on your iPod
and chill out with our cool new spa pages at
www.wallettscourt.com/breaks.htm”

I was ashamed of myself, I felt terrible, I let myself down and the Wallett name in the process. Gavin sounded like a top guy and the fact that he has spent time to look into my original enquiry really made me angry at myself. He may only be a part time life coach, but I reckon he good give the full timers a run for their money. I would of course be honoured to come down to the Hotel one day and the fact I might be able to display my art there was amazing, had I spurned this opportunity with one click of a mouse? I hoped not, I sent the following email to help rebuild the Wallett bridge, which was once so strong:

“Dear Gavin

Thanks for replying. I am sorry about my very rude email yesterday, I was incredibly stressed (as you somehow picked up on), no not at you or Wallett's court, although you certainly got the full brunt of my anger. I have had a terrible week and I guess, without really thinking, I just let rip. My South African snail just died (his name was Brian), my car broke down (which I have had for only 2 months) and now needs its head gasket replaced, which will probably cost me more then the car is worth, I have to get 3 modes of public transport to work each day in weather that comes straight from hell and to top it all off my current job is as about as fulfilling as eating a pickled slug!

It was really immature of me to send you that email yesterday, I am usually the most chilled out person alive and I hope you can accept my apologies. All of my above bad fortune isn't your fault at all and I am surprised you replied with such a nice email, I certainly don't deserve it.

I would love to hear more information about Wallett's Court and learn about its history and name in greater detail and I would be honoured to come down (if you still want me after my barbaric behaviour!) If I do come down I will apologise properly and buy you a drink to call it even?

Thanks for the tips of de-stressing myself, I will try to use them, at least until my bad luck goes away. I am honestly usually a really relaxed, quirky, creative and mellow person and do believe in karma and doing good things for others, I guess I was just close to my breaking point yesterday.

If you are serious about inviting me down I would be honoured to check out your fine Court. Thanks again for the kind words and your life coaching skills seem top notch!

Sorry again,

Adrian Wallett

Ashamed Person / Eager student of part-time life coach”

I haven’t received a reply to this email from Gavin yet, however I feel he might be teaching me an important lesson to be patient, we will see. Of course, if the opportunity to visit the hotel comes to light and any other opportunities come my way, I will grab them with two hands. I love Wallett’s Court and I am still really proud that we share the same name!

Anyway I have a few blog features to continue, so please allow spill my beans:

Business Tips for the Big Boys (all for little more than a t-shirt) (BTFTBBAFLMTATS for short)

My last email to McCain received one reply and that wasn’t even from the food company themselves, I wasn’t getting much success with my newer advertising ideas, my hunt for t-shirts was beginning to look more like the latest instalment of Mission Impossible. Then I thought who stocks Mission Impossible? Blockbuster, of course! So I sent Blockbuster the following advertising idea:

“Dear Blockbuster

I am a Blockbuster member and proud to be so. I often rent DVD's and games from your fine business. I know it is hard for rental companies these days, what with DVD's and games prices ever decreasing so I admire your strategies to sat ahead of the pack and keep thinking out new idea and schemes to keep your customers enticed and loyal. To help you keep your current customers happy and content and keep Blockbuster in the front of their brains I have a new marketing and advertising idea you might consider using.

I am a bit of retro freak, I like classic computer games, old music and of course the golden oldies of television. I was a huge fan of Blockbusters hosted by the great Bob Holness. This popular UK game show still has a place in many peoples hearts across the nation and I feel you could capitalise on this notion and base a new television campaign around this classic show. Your company of course shares a very similar name to the classic game show.

I feel the advert could start with Bob Holness staring at the TV screen, welcoming everyone to a new episode of Blockbuster. The contestants would then be shown looking confused and a bit anxious. One contestant would then get a brainwave and ask bob the following questions:

Can I have a D please Bob?
Can I have a V please Bob?
Can I have a D please Bob?

Bob would smile back at the screen and would say:

'Of course you can, at Blockbuster we provide a large selection of the latest and greatest DVD's, Games and more. So what are you
waiting for? Visit your nearest Blockbuster store today!'

I feel this advert is memorable, funny and would bring back many fond memories to people who used to watch Blockbusters religiously. I am sure Bob Holness wouldn't be too hard to book for your adverts as he would probably jump at the chance to bring Blockbusters back to the TV.

Anyway let me know what you think about my adverting idea. If you would like to take this idea further please email me on: agwallett@googlemail.com.

To help spread the word of Blockbuster further could I be really cheeky and ask for a free Blockbuster T-shirt or any other freebie? Anything would be very much appreciated, and if you send me a t-shirt I will proudly walk around and be your free walking billboard. Please send any items to the following address:

Adrian Wallett
**********
********
Croydon
Surrey
******
United Kingdom

Kindest Regards

Adrian Wallett
Email: agwallett@googlemail.com”

I was sure I was onto a winner here, who doesn’t love Bob Holness? Well I am happy to state I did receive some replies from Blockbuster, I was first emailed this:

“Thank you for your email and your great idea for an advertising campaign.

We are currently developing our campaign for 2007 with our advertising agency, however we shall keep your ideas on file.

Thank you for being a loyal customer and we hope you continue to rent and buy from us in the future.

Many Thanks
Katie Clifford
Blockbuster Press Office”

Hmmm, I wasn’t totally sure what to make of this reply, of course I was happy Katie thought my idea was great, and would at least keep my ideas on file, but I don’t like being pessimistic, but I doubt Bob Holness cant wait around forever, if you get my thinking! I then received another email from Blockbuster as shown below:

“Mr Adrian Wallett

5 December, 2006

Our Reference: BBV/126908/C
Membership Number: 2614592***

Dear Mr Wallett

Thank you for your e-mail dated 28th November.

Your suggestion has been logged for future reference.

Thank you for taking the time to contact Blockbuster.

Yours sincerely

Ninyas Sapper
UK Customer Service Advisor”

Ok, I like Ninyas name, but I don’t like her emailing technique, talk about wooden, boring and quite frankly pointless! At least Kate put a bit more oomph into her reply (I should bold the word bit). But at the end of the day it was another reply and another logged idea, it all helps. I was angry no one picked up on my request for a free t-shirt so I decided to email both Kate and Ninyas the following email:

“Dear Ninyas / Katie

I am glad you like my advertising idea, I am happy you have logged my idea and I hope one day you Will use it, however Bob Holness is already quite old so I urge you to use it sooner, rather than later.

I know it is cheeky in asking, but is there any chance of receiving a free Blockbuster t-shirt, I guess for payment of my advertising idea. If you do post me a t-shirt I will be your free walking billboard and will sing Blockbusters praises whenever possible, however my singing voice isn't very good and can be compared closer to Lionel Blair than Lionel Richie, so maybe that would be a deterrent if anything! Anyway please post any goodies to:

Adrian Wallett
*********
**********
Croydon
Surrey
*****

Thanks again

Adrian Wallett”

I received the following reply from Katie:

“Thanks Adrian

I am afraid we do not have any Blockbuster branded goodies.

I have some rental vouchers which I can post to you but these will need to be used by the end of the year as they expire shortly.

I will pop these in the post to you now.

Thank you for your support

Katie

Katie Clifford
Blockbuster Entertainment”

Ok, so it isn’t a t-shirt, but hey I can’t really complain! I will make an extra effort to use these vouchers just to say thanks to Blockbusters!

I am still eagerly awaiting any further replies from Ninyas, I will keep you, my blogger buddies posted of any further developments.

Mr Questions Needs Your Answers

In my last blog we discovered what the meaning of life was (please refer back to blog 13 to find out), oh and thanks for Chris who helped me understand why 42 was a popular answer! But I don’t want to stop there, I had other questions I needed answered! In this blog we will try to find out:

How do you define right and wrong?

I received a few answers as shown below:
• i'm always right

• If it feels right to you, without being intently malicious, then it is right. Anything purposefully negative, is wrong.

• right is a direction and wrong is a Chinese meal

• I think "would I like it if it was done to me" if the answer to it is no then chances are it's wrong.

All good answers I am sure you would agree! Is wrong really a Chinese meal? Next time I am ordering a Chinese takeaway I will make sure I order an extra large helping of wrong and see if that helps my philosophical juices flow! I feel the best answer though is the last answer. I feel right and wrong can be weighed up well if you put yourself in the same scenario and “would I like it done to me” so perfectly put down is a key answer to this question. In my next blog, I will again try to find out key answers to the worlds biggest questions!

ITV Are Jerks! *SPECIAL BONUS FEATURE*

You would think I would think twice about emailing a company a really rude email after my Wallett’s Court affair as described above, well in most cases you would be correct, but ITV deserved special treatment. Allow me to explain. Earlier this week (Wednesday) Arsenal played Porto in the Champions League, they both required a draw to proceed to the next stage, if one of the teams lost there was a good chance they wouldn’t go through. The match finished 0-0. Both teams ultimately went through. I only saw the highlights of the game, and to be honest Porto outplayed Arsenal and even hit the post twice. Arsenal could of easily lost this game, but thankfully we didn’t. It certainty wasn’t a great game of football, but here still chances to the win the game, and up until the last 5 minutes both teams were attempting to win. Anyway ITV annoyed me greatly and any remaining (already quite small amount) of respect I had left for the failing channel quickly evaporated into thin air. Please see my email I sent below to understand why I was so angry at this poor excuse for a channel:

“Dear ITV

I was disgusted to find that you asked the following question in your football website poll:

Should Arsenal and Porto be thrown out of the Champions League for contriving a dire 0-0 draw?

Even asking this question proves how foolish you are, and how little you must know about the sport. If you watched the game you would of understood that there were good scoring chances (mainly for Porto I have to add) that could easily of won the game. Porto hit the post twice - if you are telling me, the Porto player was aiming to hit the post and not score, you are either a liar or a fool or have too much faith in a footballers ability. Contriving the draw (as you put it) also became pointless after CSKA Moscow lost their game against Hamburg.

ITV have always angered me with their football coverage, from the dire days of the Premiership (who on Earth thought the tactics van (or whatever it was called) was a good idea?). Your pundits also seem to have as much charisma as a dead rat that has the following tattoo edged onto his back 'I AM NOT CHARISMATIC!'.

Please ask better and more valid football polls from now on, as if you keep going down this route, ITV's current bad times will continue to decline quicker than a Lemming falling of a cliff!

Please reply to apologise and I would love to hear your arguments why you asked this stupid poll in the first place!

Regards

Adrian Wallett

Disgruntled ITV Website Viewer

Email: agwallett@googlemail.com”

I received the following reply:

“Thank you for your email.

I have passed your email to ITV Interactive Customer Services to investigate and they will get back to you directly as soon as possible.

Their direct contact details for your information are:

Tel: 0845 011 0055 (1000 to 1700 Monday to Friday)
Email: itvihelp@itv.com

Duty Officer-AT

ITV Viewer Enquiries
Gas Street
Birmingham B1 2JT
Tel: 0870 600 6766
Minicom: 0870 241 6346
Fax: 0121 634 4898
Email: dutyoffice@itv.com
Office Hours:
0800-2300 Monday to Friday,
1000-2200 Saturday & Sunday.
Closed on Bank Holidays”

I hope they reply properly with a proper apology. Arsenal are a fair team who I honestly feel play the game in the right spirit and sportsmanship. ITV are jerks, end of discussion!

This is the end of my 14th blog, I guess the theme was me being grumpy! I was grumpy at my bad week, initially grumpy at Wallett’s Court, grumpy at ITV and kinda grumpy at Blockbuster (again initially at least). Anyway I hope you enjoyed the read, feel free to leave a comment and subscribe if you haven’t already done so.

YOU ROCK DOST

Adriano